HALLELUJAH,

HE IS RISEN!

 

 

 

When our lord and saviour Jesus Christ first walked the Earth, almost exactly 2000 years ago, he came to us as a humble man, the son of a lowly carpenter, a wandering worker of miracles and teller of stories. He gave us the gift of God's love, as well as His promise that He would come again.

Now, 2000 years later, He has. Replace 'humble' with 'famous', 'carpenter' with 'actor/teacher' and 'stories' with 'performance poems', and you have the truth: Joel from Aisle16 is, in fact, the second coming of Jesus Christ.

The evidence is hard to ignore:

  • There was no room at any inns in Bethlehem; Stapleford, Joel's home town, doesn't even have any B&Bs.
  • Jesus performed the miracle of the loaves and fishes; Joel wrote a poem called 'Fish n Chips', the modern equivalent.
  • Jesus turned water into wine; Joel likes Vimto.
  • Jesus had twelve disciples who followed Him round and listened to His teachings; Joel has three (and one of them is called Luke, just like one of Jesus' was).
  • Both Their names begin with J.


Like Jesus, He wanders from place to place telling wise parables and performing miracles. In this case, the miracles take the form of tight ABAB rhyme schemes and extended metaphors, but the principle is the same.

He is even a valid messiah figure for other faiths.

So if you've been moved, shaken or touched in a special way by Aisle16, allow yourself a moment to consider: isn't this EXACTLY the way Jesus should be, in this crazy modern age?